Any advice?
We have a biter in the house. Both boys started biting about 8-10
months ago. I am not a fan of corporal punishment. We
started off dealing with it by immediately setting them down, saying
sternly, 'No biting!'. Magnus stopped.
Dougie, however, feels that he has found his niche. He has tried
to bite Becca. He has bit me and Ben. Mostly, he zones in
on Magnus. Anytime the boys are struggling for ownership of a toy
Dougie leans down with his mouth wide open. There are plenty of
times I can catch him and pull him away with the 'no biting' and
'biting hurts people'. I have tried adding in the 'teeth are for
eating'. Nothing.
Magnus has teeth marks up and down his arms. Dougie hasn't
actually broken the skin yet, but he leaves bruises that last several
days.
After a good six months of this, I gave in to swatting. Most of
the time Dougie doesn't even lose his smile. The swat is followed
by a time out and me explaining, once again, about not biting and why
we don't bite.
I have heard two different suggestions for dealing with this. One
is to have the biter play with another child who is a biter. The
other is to bite the biter yourself. I will not be trying either
of these. Both of them sound as though they would encourage more
biting.
So, any suggestions?
Submitted by
Sarah at 4/17/2007 12:25:19 PM- I was trying to remembee what we did when the kids at the day school used to bite.I thinking we did the same thing you did just telling them no and how its not nice and putting them in time out. Of course we didnt spank but after enough times of them getting in time out they stopped. Or you could try if Dougie bites Magnus then he has to sit in timeout while Magnus plays with the toy they were fighting over. Maybe that would help, he would see that biting didnt get him what he wanted. Just a suggestion.
Submitted by
Katie at 4/17/2007 8:17:04 PM- When I worked at a daycare we did the same thing that Sarah said, but our director also told us that when we separate the children, instead of reprimanding the biter right away, put all of your attention on the child who was bit. By cuddling and consoling the hurt child the biter didn't get the attention that they sometimes expect when they bite. This approach seemed to work with a lot of the biters because they all want to be cuddled and loved, so they eventually learned that biting does not get them what they want.
Submitted by
Tempe at 4/17/2007 8:54:44 PM- That actually is the way I do it. I put Douglas in time out and calm Magnus down before Dougie gets his talk.
It's just driving me nuts because it has been MONTHS of this.
Submitted by
kat at 4/17/2007 10:06:48 PM- it's conversations like this that make me realize i am WAY to cruel of a human being to ever be a parent.
yeah. single and cats. that's the life for me.
Submitted by
Karl at 4/18/2007 8:15:09 PM- So I am dog parent - soon to be a real parent - but with the dog you push his "lips" onto his teeth and as he tries to bite, he ends up biting himself - this is obviously easier with dogs as they have long mouths that you can wrap your hand around... if you try this and it works let me know, we'll write a book about it and make millions.
Okay. This is what I picture: The next time Dougie is paying close attention to you and Ben, have Ben lean over and bite you. THEN, you scream "NO BITING!" and start kicking his ass. Beat the hell out of him (sorry, Ben--it's for the kids) for at least four minutes. Then, calmly look at Dougie and say, "You're next, little man. No biting."