I realized that breastfeeding twins would be more difficult than a singleton. We were doing fine until the boys turned three weeks old. Then all of a sudden, my supply wasn’t making it through the night. It didn’t help that I wasn’t drinking gallons of water, but still. With Becca I rode out the growth spurts with her permanently attached to my chest for a few days at a time each time. I just can’t see doing that with two, plus I still have Becca to pay attention to. Therefore, supplementing started during the wee small hours of the morning. Each day it moved earlier, due partially to convenience, and partially to it’s hard to nurse both in the middle of the night when you are too tired to sit upright. Ben has been handling feeding one with a bottle while I nurse the other a lot.
The problem? Quickly dwindling supply. The bottles came out at 4:45 this afternoon. Cause and effect. I know all the steps I can take to increase me supply, but I just don’t see me doing them. It wasn’t a problem to do them for Becca, but if I invest all that time now, I neglect my other child more than the standard ‘there’s a new baby now’ neglect. After spending the past several months being a bump on a log and unable to play with her, and now being on weight-lifting restriction because of my incision so I can’t even pick her up to put her in a swing, it seems very unfair to me to do that to her.
At the current rate, the nursing probably won’t hold out another week. I feel guilt towards the boys over that. Their sister was nursed for 17 months. They will only be getting the health benefits for one month or so. Let’s not even talk about the expense of formula for two.
This is giving me feelings of failure. I should be able to do this. I just can’t bring myself to make the full commitment to it.
Just putting down some statistics so I don’t forget….
The boys left the hospital May 28 each weighing 6-5. On May 31 we went to the dr’s to get them weighed and make sure they were gaining some back. Magnus was 6-10 and Douglas was 6-7. Magnus lost his cord June 4 and Douglas waited until June 15 to lose his.
